A visit with my good friends this evening was much needed. They’re more than friends, like family. There through thick and thin, rain or shine. Such a lovely couple, give me hope for a happy future.
Unofficially I’m the godfather to their son. A little gem of a boy, never fails to put a smile on my mush. He’s crawling now and seeing him grow so fast is a scary delight. With his whole life ahead of him, he’s another reason for me to conquer my issues and become a good influence.
I often worry that perhaps my friends have chosen poorly. With all that goes on in my head, the mental instability, my worry is that I’ll never be the influence I want to be.
Not being a religious person, the meaning of being a godfather is more about being a figure for him to look up to, aside from his parents and relatives. Can I be that? Is it bold of me to ever believe I could be? They seem to think I will be. Am I wrong to question their decision?
It’s a great honour and a privilege, so by no means am I ungrateful or do I see this as something I should’ve said no to. It’s just that niggle in my mind that I will not succeed at this. Maybe I’m putting too much emphasis on the duties, maybe just simply being me and being there is all that is asked of me.
A troubled mind with the great fortune of having incredible friends and family is something I should be more than content with. And I am. I just often want to be a better me for them…..