Nightly notion #4….

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A visit with my good friends this evening was much needed. They’re more than friends, like family. There through thick and thin, rain or shine. Such a lovely couple, give me hope for a happy future.

Unofficially I’m the godfather to their son. A little gem of a boy, never fails to put a smile on my mush. He’s crawling now and seeing him grow so fast is a scary delight. With his whole life ahead of him, he’s another reason for me to conquer my issues and become a good influence.

I often worry that perhaps my friends have chosen poorly. With all that goes on in my head, the mental instability, my worry is that I’ll never be the influence I want to be.
Not being a religious person, the meaning of being a godfather is more about being a figure for him to look up to, aside from his parents and relatives. Can I be that? Is it bold of me to ever believe I could be? They seem to think I will be. Am I wrong to question their decision?

It’s a great honour and a privilege, so by no means am I ungrateful or do I see this as something I should’ve said no to. It’s just that niggle in my mind that I will not succeed at this. Maybe I’m putting too much emphasis on the duties, maybe just simply being me and being there is all that is asked of me.

A troubled mind with the great fortune of having incredible friends and family is something I should be more than content with. And I am. I just often want to be a better me for them…..

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2 thoughts on “Nightly notion #4….”

  1. You just need to be you Scott. Loving, caring, kind, gentle. Having an illness hasn’t changed who you are. Love yourself as we love you and have confidence in the person you are. We certainly couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for a ‘better’ you.

    Liked by 1 person

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