On waking this morning after a night of agitation, I’m feeling somewhat KNACKERED! A feeling of needing to move my limbs, something I haven’t felt for a while. As if my body is on a high whilst my head just wants to turn off.
This feeling used to be a precursor for unwarranted rage. Anger used to consume me and try it’s hardest to destroy me – physically and mentally. Now, with a slightly tidier head, the need to lash out isn’t as strong. Still simmering underneath but never to reach the surface.
I guess I can look at this as growth. But why do I get this feeling again? Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself to move forward. Maybe it is as I said above, mind and body not in sync.
Anyway, the gym was a success today in spite of my turbulent night. A strength day followed by 40 minutes of cardio. Maybe this is what my body needed, all it’s energy drained. Tired and exhausted like my brain.
The earphones helped once again, though the gym is a safe zone. Music playing and exercise make me feel relaxed, without thought and a sense of freedom. With the diet/lifestyle changes I’ve put into action, I look forward to seeing positive results, in and out of the gym, in my body and mind.
Still with a smile on my face, I think I should put the ‘always move forward’ mentality on to a simmer. Take each day, each challenge and each victory as they come. Put some trust into the progress and changes I have made so far. Granted I’ll always want to move forward, but let’s live in the now and make the most of it!