It’s Sunday. After indulging last night with a takeaway – king prawn pathia, t’was a tasty dish – I wish I could go back. Not to savour it one more time or even to hit delete and choose a healthier option. But to perhaps only eat half, or maybe not have a few slices of the pizza the others had….
Yes I dipped pizza into a curry. Yes it was delicious. And yes I feel like a complete fatty. There is however a sense of achievement here, a tick amongst an array of crosses. I stopped when I was full! Tis true that it was still too much, but the old me would have eaten and eaten……..and eaten……and….well, you know where I’m going. I would’ve rolled myself to bed after demolishing the entire table, perhaps even searched for pudding!
This is where, as poop as I feel for eating it, I proved a point I’ve been trying to make. It is possible to indulge and cure a ‘want’ for something you’re trying to avoid, and I stopped when the urge was satisfied.
Indulgence was fulfilled and conquered.
It also doesn’t mean I am going to starve myself today. I’m going to eat properly and enjoy it. I may even have some pud today if the feeling arises. It’s a case of knowing what your limits are and ensuring you enjoy yourself up to that limit.
I’ve had my egg mashup this morning, with avocado and ham, a touch of greens to top it. With the above feelings of slight regret washed away, I’m feeling good. A happy tum means a happy me. I can’t stress enough how important indulgence is. It’s a release, not because my chosen lifestyle is too difficult, but because sometimes your body wants what it wants.
With a meaty, healthy wrap for lunch, a nice piece of salmon with blueberry labneh & roasted cauliflower for dinner, I’m feeling more than satisfied. It’s been a good few days of grub, gardening and the conquering of anxiety. A trip or two to the neighbouring town with family – my father and little sister Millie – without my safety blanket, my rock, my mum. It was difficult, but I held it together. They know my struggle which makes it easier.
Indulge, accept and conquer 😊😊