The sun was peering through clouds, possible rain taunting me. But with temperatures still high and a want to do something new, we took a trip to the beach.
Anxiety was on red alert before the day began, but determination and a want to get out and face my fears was strong. It felt good to say ‘f@#k you’ to such a negative feeling. I’ve always avoided such situations, or found a different route around them. Yes I’ve pushed through – and also often been beaten by – my anxiety on a daily basis, but to know in advance that my comfort will definitely be reached, even become a speck in the review mirror, was something I decided to face head-on!
To reason with an irrational fear of people, the outside world and places I’m not familiar with, is a futile task. This is what I’ve tried to do in the past. The attempt at reasoning only intensifies the anxiety, leading to attacks and a whirlwind of head blitzkrieging nonsense and thoughts!
This newfound head-on approach – whether it be a one off or something I can emulate in the future – opened my eyes to the potential growth I can achieve. I’ve been circling around safe zones, shortcuts and methods of avoidance for so long, perhaps this is a new step in the right direction. Out of my comfort zone, outside of my practiced circle.
The beach was a lovely day out, testing but invigorating! My head may have been down a lot of the time and yes I may have eaten too much ice cream, but today was a great accomplishment for me.
Only time will tell if I can continue and build on this success. A new sense of positivity sits on the horizon. It’s mine for the taking….
Sometimes it’s worth pushing yourself harder than you feel safe. Always be around those who understand you and always know when to turn back. There’s no weakness in trying and only success at the finish line…