A killer gym session was followed by a regression into depression. I can’t quite put my finger on why. I thought my worries from earlier today & last night were gone, a figment of my imagination, filtered out through words on this blog.
It appears I have yet to climb out of this hole, this pit of questions, sleeplessness and agitation. My trip to the gym was a momentary cloud on which I floated, oblivious to the shite that is my head down below.
A day is just a day, whereas my mind is something different. The day continues on by the way it always does, the way it was written. My head took it upon itself to go off script, back on it again and ad-lib once more. Whether the script was written with hatred in mind or the ad-lib is the culprit, I’m unaware.
It’s just the lack of sleep, the deprivation of zZ’s. That and the incessant need to do something, anything with my day. The gym may have felt like a stellar idea at the time, maybe it was. Maybe I would be worse off tonight if I skipped it, who knows, I certainly don’t.
These ramblings create another cloud to float upon. I may talk utter nonsense, I may even repeat myself. I just wish this pleasant, cloud of candy floss would forever guide me over the tough, terrible and down right tedious bumps in the road. Potholes. Cavernous craters!