A change up….

It’s time for a change….again. I’ve spoken of my fear of change before, afraid to alter a routine I’ve worked hard to put in place and stick to. It seems boredom can set in however. And the body can become used to it also.

So I feel change is a necessity. Although I’m enjoying what I eat & the training I’m doing, slight tweaks will hopefully spark the flame which has started to dwindle. My body reacted really well to the increase in fats and the lowering of carbs so I’m hesitant to alter these. My protein intake seems fine also, and the fruit & veg I consume is that of a healthy amount.

So what to change?

A diet and lifestyle isn’t just about what you consume and the exercise you do. It can be about time management also. So with this being said, I plan to play with the clock. Intermittent fasting is a phrase I’m not too keen on. Fasting in general strikes the fear of God into me, I mean, to fast….no food….what?!? Anyway, I plan to eat my usual diet within an eight hour period. So let’s say 10am – 6pm…..this may change depending how it goes in the first few days.

I’m going to increase the intensity in which I workout. At the moment I’m working with lower weights and higher reps. To see what difference it makes, I’m going to implement strength training days with higher weight and lower reps. Increasing my cardio is also a change, this is one that I’m fearful I won’t stick to…..I’m lazy at heart…..and body……I’m just lazy.

So with time management and slight tweaks in training, let’s see if we can stoke the fire and see more change for the better 😊

If this works out well, I’ll be posting a food & workout plan. If it works for me, it could well work for someone else.

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Nightly notion #3….

To sleep or not to sleep…..isn’t the question. I already know the answer.

No need to fret or waste this time, let’s write! Other than this nugget of nonsense, I’m delving in to my novel. With the general plot and a good character base, I’m fairly deep in to a gripping hook that I hope will continue to excite me.

With a few emotional and thought provoking chapters (if I do say so myself), I’m really eager to continue with the current chapter in which twists, action and unexpected occurrences are keeping me on my toes. I just hope, one day, others will read it and feel the same.

The only problem now is, am I going to get to sleep at all? Concentrating and thinking intently, I’m evading sleep even further. Silly me. At least I’m getting something done. I’ll catch a few hours, no doubt when the sun begins to smile…

Daily drivel #2….

With the gardening rained off, I’m at a loose end. I’m thinking I should shut myself in the garage and build….. something…..

How about a bird table? Or a nice big planter? How’s about both?

I find myself doing this regularly of late. Granted in recent weeks I’ve been escaping the heat. So why not escape the rain. With lengths of wood just scattered between shed and garage, I’ve already built a garden table, and absolutely loved doing so.

I’m not sure if it’s the labour or the precision of measuring that has me hooked. But either way with busy days means a busy yet uncluttered head. The action at hand doing it’s very best to own the thinking portion of my brain.

So today I’ll build. Build something physical and build on the last few positive days. With a poor attempt at a gym session yesterday my only blip, I’ll build on the positivity and not let the rain wash it away 😊

Jibber-jabber at dawn….

Waking this early is a rare occurrence for me. Sleep evades me at night and a groggy doze in the morning is much needed. This morning, however, with the sun beaming in and the tweet of birds, I woke almost immediately with wide eyes and a bushy tail.
Sleep is a valuable thing when it comes to mental illness. A lack of it and the risk of a downward spiral increases. That’s how it is for me anyway, especially depression. The frustration of wanting but not getting the sleep you so desperately crave is bad enough, but a tired mind is vulnerable aside from the obvious frustration.
Today isn’t one of those days. Yes I was absolutely knackered – sleep an evasive foe, a nemesis, a more than worthy adversary – yet my eyes weren’t cloudy, my head semi awake and body ache free.
I guess what I learned from this is, I need not fret at 3am that sleep is once again trying to ruin my tomorrow. Wait and see what the morning brings.

Dawn, late morning or even lunchtime. Just wait and see….

Another day, another grind…..

It’s a gym day, aching from gardening and tired, motivation is lacking. Some say I should have the day off….but where would that get me? Knowing I should be at the gym, I would be constantly going over it. Why should I though? I’ve had a relatively productive week, getting over a horrible time and getting lots done in the garden….

It’s a fear of stopping, giving up on the grind and not starting again. Just because that’s happened before, what’s to say I’ll do that again? Just me. I am me though. A promise to myself should be enough. It rarely is….

I’ve come to the gym, deciding to push through the motivation starvation. I’ve also come to the realisation that this is as detrimental as not coming at all. With my heart not in it, my head elsewhere, it’s a futile attempt at being productive.

If you’re not fully in the zone to continue your daily routine, it doesn’t help to force it. It shouldn’t be ‘another day, another grind….’ It should be ‘another day, another something new!’

I’m afraid of switching up a routine, as I’ve never been good at keeping to them. So now that I have somewhat of a regular daily plan, it’s difficult to break even when my heart and head aren’t in it.

Make peace with change, know in yourself that it’s just a day and there’s always tomorrow…

Nightly notion #2….

To think a day in the fresh air and a full tum would mean Oji (the pug) would chill and get to sleep early was wishful thinking.

From one toy to the next, tug of war, soggy teddies and destroyed rubber bones. To ‘please let me outside, run after me, I’ll run after you, pick up my poo and now take me back in’.

I can appreciate he’s a puppy, wanting to play and be glued to my side is endearing and one of the reasons I love him.

It fascinates me though, how two species with zero understanding of each others needs (apart from the obvious) can become so attached. I still, eight months on, have no idea what he’s trying to communicate during his chimp Impression. All that is missing are the opposable thumbs!

‘Is it food? Is it poop? Is it – can I please, oh please read the newspaper after you?’

How great would the latter be?!

Anyway…

As he falls asleep on my leg and my eyes get heavy, I can only guess what dances around in his think tank.

He’s always there, always loyal, so I must be doing something right….

Daily drivel….

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Today was a good day. A change from the norm, I ventured out with the fam to a park. Park isn’t exactly the best description of this place. It was beautiful! And huge!

Not feeling so confident amongst people, I worried I’d made a mistake in going. With children in tow, the play area was an obvious point of interest. The noise and commotion was too much. What was I expecting……people at a park? Nooooo…..well obviously! With the inevitable draw of which a play area has for families, I made a quick escape.

Off the beaten track…

People were few, none in fact. The air was that of nature. And the scenery, that of perfection, film set worthy. Being alone probably isn’t the best for a broken mind in need of interaction practice, but I was loving the tranquil surroundings and time to….well…not think. It was a nice change to have an empty head.

The journey home always seems to go by that little bit quicker. Idiot drivers not imprinting anger on my face, nor were the road works – ‘works’ used rather broadly – it was a nice day all round. Pooch asleep in the back, snoring & stretching out. Mum trying her hardest not to join him in slumber. Brother and family heading their separate ways. Everybody smiling, tuckered out and ready for a nap.

T’was a good day.